One of a Kind

I blew off all my responsibilities for today and even turned down an invitation to go somewhere fun in the hopes of catching up in at least one class. Instead, I am surfing the web and doing random blog quizzes (hat tip: life far away). I am such a procrastinator.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Glad I Picked Boalt

Below is an email that has been circulated by UCLA's La Raza Law Students Association, and it details a recent incident that occurred, which was blatantly racist. To add insult to injury, the Dean of UCLA law sent out an email to all students that didn't whole-heartedly express how the legal community at UCLA would not tolerate such behavior. Instead, he focused the bulk of his letter expressing his belief that what happened was "unintentional." Even if you concede that what happened was unintentional (which I find hard to believe that no one thought a moot court fact pattern based on offensive racial stereotypes was a bad idea), I don’t see the point of focusing a letter of this nature on how the actors in question were not culpable rather than focusing on what is and is not acceptable at UCLA law school. Although I obviously have no real way of knowing this, I have a strong feeling that Dean Edley and/or Dean Ortiz would never circulate an apology for racist behavior that consisted of so many excuses for the guilty party. In short, although Boalt has its problems too, I am so glad I didn’t end up at UCLA.

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Dear Alumni,

Greetings to you and yours from the 2006-07 Raza Board at UCLA Law. We hope this e-mail finds you well and happy! Though we as a board are excited about the work we have done thus far (especially the People of Color Workshop which was a great success!) and looking forward to a productive rest of the year, we unfortunately are writing to share a negative experience we recently faced.

On October 3, 2006, Moot Court handed out its problem for this year's competition. The fact pattern implicated an undocumented latino from the "State of Patron," named "El Guapo," who was a child-molester and deported for entering the US illegally at a port called "Beefeater."Upon re-entering, he was interviewed by INS agent"Jack Daniels." After conviction, he was sentenced to 16 years in state prison. While in prison, an INS agent in his "infinite wisdom" decided to deport "El Guapo" once again with the understanding that if he ever re-entered, all charges would still be applicable.

The issues for the Moot Court participants were: 1)the judge made findings of fact without a jury that increased "El Guapo's" maximum sentence-should this be OK? 2) Can the fact that the Grand Jury left out an essential element of the crime from the indictment constitute harmless error?

As you can guess, Raza, other student of color groups and Raza allies were outraged by the gross use of stereotypes and offensive language. We immediately drafted a letter addressed to the Moot Court Board and cc'ed it to Deans Schill, Cheadle and Carbado, Moot Court Advisor Professor Holm and Raza Advisor Professor Holmquist. The letter we sent is attached to this e-mail. After articulating the problems with the fact pattern and how it affected us, we called for three remedies: 1) a public apology 2) a re-written fact pattern 3) implementation of a policy that would ensure this doesn't happen again.

The Co-Chairs of APILSA and BLSA signed the letter. SALSA sent a letter of their own and other groups have mentioned that they may do the same. On Friday October 13th, we received an e-mail from Dean Cheadle with two attachments. The first was acover-letter and the second a re-written hypo from the Moot Court Board in which they had removed all proper names alluding to alcohol name brands and the defendant's ethnic background. We've also attached both of those documents with this e-mail.

As you can see, their letter falls short of a direct apology in that the board attempts to hide behind the "no intent" defense. Also, the letter was ONLY handed out to Moot Court participants as they received the second version of the fact pattern. The Moot Court Board never directly communicated with us (Raza) and has not addressed the law school community.

Dean Schill sent out the e-mail posted below on Monday October 16th, 2006 to the greater law school community. At this point, we are still disappointed, hurt and frustrated but can give this matter no more attention. As students of color, we already spend too much of our time addressing issues of "diversity," race and class consciousness, and outright ignorance. However, we wanted to share with you so that you can be properly informed. Thanks for taking the time to read. As you know, law school is a terribly isolating experience and it is incredibly meaningful to know that you support us.

En lucha siempre,

Raza Board 2006-07

p.s. Please feel free to forward to other Raza who may be interested.

**E-mail from Dean Schill to UCLA Law

Dear Members of the UCLA Law Community:

One of the great strengths of our school is our diversity. Within our extraordinary student body and faculty are men and women from a variety of races,
ethnicities, nationalities, income groups, religions,sexual orientations and ideological perspectives. One of the principal benefits of diversity is the opportunity for us to learn from each other. Part of this education is learning to see the world through another's eyes. This understanding of different viewpoints and perspectives is important for one to become an excellent lawyer; it is also important to become a good person.

Given our diversity, it is an unfortunate reality that from time to time members of our community will say or do things that will unintentionally offend or hurt one another. In the past week, we have experienced one such incident when the Moot Court Board created an exercise that included racial stereotypes and then compounded the problem by using a jocular tone. Understandably, many students were
deeply offended that a formal law school academic activity would include undeniably offensive stereotypes.

Based upon our conversations with members of the Moot Court Board, I am convinced that there was no intent on the part of the Board to offend or belittle our students of Mexican heritage. I also believe that members of the Moot Court Board now understand and feel deeply sorry about the hurt that they have caused to their classmates. Indeed, to avoid this sort of situation from recurring, the Moot Court Board has suggested and I have agreed that future exercises will be read by a faculty advisor.

Before we move on from here, I would like each of us to take a moment to reflect on this incident and learn something. Each of us is part of a community here at UCLA. As an intellectual community, it is incumbent upon us to defend the right of each member to express his or her views honestly and forthrightly. At the same time, because we are a community we should also encourage each other to consider the impact of what we say and do-- intentionally and unintentionally-- on our fellow students and faculty members and to hold each other accountable when we fail in that regard.

Thank you.

Michael H. Schill
Dean and Professor of Law
UCLA School of Law
405 Hilgard Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90095
(310) 825-8202
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Tongue-Tied

I've noticed how precarious discussions have become with casual law school friends when the topic turns to OCIP. When someone brings up OCIP, I have become the master of carefully unearthing clues about how someone is doing without directly asking. I almost feel like asking any direct questions is akin to asking a woman her weight or a man the size of his unit. Some questions are just never polite. I almost wish people wouldn't bring it up at all because you never know if that person did incredibly well or didn't get any callbacks at all. Still, I guess its the innate nature of law students to want to know how they measure up to their fellow students, which constantly creates these awkward conversations whether it is about grades, CLR, or now OCIP. I am looking forward to the day when there is no longer anything else to compete for. Oh wait, I’m gonna be a lawyer; I guess that is never going to happen.

Questions I NEVER Want to Hear Again

1. So, tell me about yourself.

Hmmm....I am really lazy, like reality TV, and would prefer not to do morally repugnant work.

2. Why do you want to work at a law firm?

I like money.

3. Why do you want to work at our firm?

Refer back to my answer regarding why I want to work at a law firm.

4. What is your greatest weakness?

Big law firms that will pay me an obscene amount of money even though I am clueless. Bonus points for a summer program that will give me absolutely no sense of what it will be like to work there fulltime, and has a low ratio of socially awkward associates.

5. What is your favorite law school class?

The one where I did well even though I did online shopping most of the time, and almost never came to class anyway.

6. Why did you go to law school?

I'll give you a hint, it wasn't to be a lawyer at a big law firm.

7. What do you do in your spare time? Do you have any hobbies?

Helping the little guy stick it to the man.

8. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Not at a big law firm.

(Feel free to add any other non-favorite OCIP questions.)

Maybe a Lady Justice Piñata?

The rejections from OCIP have continued to roll in via mail, albeit a little slower now. I can't believe I still haven't heard a peep from a couple firms that interviewed me during the very first week of OCIP. I know its sick, but I have been keeping all of my rejection letters and am waiting for the last few to come in before I make scales of justice piñata or something with them. Each hit of the piñata could be a cathartic whack for every stupid question I had to suffer through. What is something I want you to know about me that isn’t on my resume? Well, if I wanted you to know it, I would have put it on my fu*king resume! I am boring and have no hobbies that would help me make a connection with someone who is obviously a shell of a man. Satisfied? Why a firm given my public interest background? Well, if you want to make me say it, I will. I like money. I like the way I can pay rent with money. I like the way I can buy things like food, new clothes, and chocolate with money. Is that a sufficient reason, or did you want me to offer to clean your house too before you consider giving me an offer? On second thought, I could always use the letters as kindling for the next carne asada. So many rejection letters, so many choices. I am just glad that I don’t have to wear another suit for at least six months.

You're Hired!

Well, I did it. I tap danced for the man and it finally culminated in getting some offers. Yay! Luckily I have enough offers to institute my rigorous test of choosing between the firm with associates who made me jog in heels, and the considerate associates who actually walked a little slower and talked to me. Now I get to read five weeks worth of reading which has piled up. Despite the need to catch up on all the work I neglected, I feel incredibly lucky. I have an offer from a firm that is as good as a big firm gets, and was my first choice. Life is good.

Check Please!

The worst part of callback interviews for me has been the awkward lunches with the associates. So far I have been unlucky enough to be accompanied by people not wearing heels at every lunch. How they have failed to realize that speed walking in heels is not comfortable is beyond me. One time the two associates taking me to lunch actually walked at least fifty feet ahead of me and talked to each other instead. Needless to say, unless that place is my only offer I am not going to work there. Its not like I am a diva; I just expect a little consideration for the fact that I am wearing three inch heels, not running shoes. Also, once you sit down the uncomfortable silence begins. While I try to keep the conversation light and not too law related I have unfortunately encountered more than one associate that insists on asking the lame law interview questions that I have come to hate after doing OCIP. Do you really need to ask me “why your firm” before I have even gotten a chance to nibble on something from the bread basket? Really? Although the lunch is free I have paid dearly with minutes of my life I will never get back.

Return from Hiatus

Hello again. With school back in full swing and the stress of OCIP, I didn't have much extra time to blog. I have to admit that I don't really have any good OCIP horror stories. With the exception of being bored to death in a few interviews where I could hardly get in a word edgewise, my interviews occurred without incident. Although I could live without ever going through OCIP again, it was a positive experience in that I got to bond with all my classmates while nervously waiting in the halls of the Durant hotel. There was a real sense of camaraderie as we all pilfered highlighters and free Starbucks cards from the hospitality suites and waited for the next interviews.

This week the callback process is more individual and I miss being able to talk to fellow Boalties before heading into yet another interview. Although I am generally a people person, the callback interviews seem to be more difficult in that you are meeting so many people in one shot. In any event this process will hopefully be over soon and I can get back to reading my casebooks, which have been collecting dust for weeks now.

You Lost Me at Jesus.....

I was recently invited to join a webgroup that advocates boycotting South Dakota because of its efforts to make abortion illegal. While I have always been pro-choice, it is people like the person who sent me the invite that make me feel uncomfortable with the sometimes hostile anti-christian overtones of the pro-choice movement. On his personal site, he had games where you could nail jesus to the cross or dress him up in a ballerina tutu. It is unfortunate that the very person asking for tolerance and understanding of other viewpoints is blatantly intolerant. I'm not saying the person should believe in Jesus, but a little respect for something many consider sacred would go a long way.

Motivate Me

Am I the only one completely unmotivated to read or do anything? I am on day three of the first week of school and I haven't read for my classes at all, nor have I made any attempt to start ranking slave drivers for OCIP. I don't know what it will take to get me back on track. If the thought of a big P hanging around my neck for the rest of my life or paying for my own lunch this summer doesn't do it, I don't know what will.

The Final Countdown

It is mere days before I begin my 2L year. I feel like I will have to be dragged back to school kicking and screaming. As much as I love Boalt (and I do genuinely love Boalt) I am just not ready to go back. My shoulders have enjoyed their freedom from heavy book bags and I haven't touched a hi-lighter in months. On top of not wanting to resume going to class, I also feel the specter of OCIP lying in wait for me. Although I am confident I will get a job somewhere, I am not looking forward to the rejection I will likely face during OCIP. In many ways, the OCIP process has inadvertently become a reminder of how much connections play a role in landing a job.

For me, making it to law school was a great accomplishment. As a high school graduate I had already beaten the odds, and as a college graduate I could do no wrong in my family’s eyes. I will never forget my father’s face the day I graduated from college because it looked like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with pride. My mother practically blinded me with camera flashes as she documented every second of my college graduation with disposable cameras. Consequently, it is impossible for my family to help me navigate my path toward a successful legal career. While it is pointless to focus on how disadvantaged I am compared to others who have parents or family in the legal profession, it is still worth noting how few Latinos there are in the legal world, and how each of us must still blaze our own trail despite all the inroads that have been made. We still have a long way to go.

You Aint Nothing But a Hoochie's Mama

As I searched for a power suit to divert attention away from the big P on my forehead, I couldn't help but notice all the back to school clothes on sale, and the pubescent teenagers squeezing themselves into this year's fashions. A girl who couldn’t have been more than 12 modeled a pair of super short shorts for her mother who groaned with disapproval at the selection. The girl replied that all the shorts were that short, and it was just the style kids wear now. Surprisingly the mother seemed to accept this and agreed to buy the shorts. This may make me sound like a prude, but I really don’t understand why parents allow their children to dress like little hoochies. I wouldn’t care if that was the style kids wear or not; I wouldn’t fork over my hard earned cash to make my daughter look like a streetwalker. I think its unfortunate how many parents feel like it is more important to be their child’s friend than their parent. There may have been times during my teenage years when I disliked the boundaries my mother set for me, but looking back I appreciate the way I was raised.

Summer Lovin', Had Me a Blast

In addition to working this summer, I kissed my share of toads to find a prince. I went to a salsa club one night and met a tall attractive Cubano who turned out to love George W. Bush. yikes! Given my prolonged dry spell I decided to give him a chance in the hopes of discovering he was just misguided, not a jackass. As I tried to ignore his beliefs I disagreed with long enough to eat my free dinner, he did something no one has ever done before. When I asked for one of his french fries, he said sure and pushed his entire plate toward me. As I gently pushed the plate back in front of him, he waved the plate away and said I could have his food because he was going to order more french fries. Apparently in addition to not believing in welfare, he also doesn't believe in EVER sharing food. Weird. I could go on about the other dates I went on, but in the interest in brevity, I’ll only do one nightmare date per post. In any event, I ended up meeting someone in the last place I ever expected to—church. We started talking over the coffee and donuts after service, and haven’t stopped talking since. So far I appreciate the fact that he isn’t a law student, but only time with tell if things will work out. Right now, I am having a lot of fun and enjoying my summer of love.

OCIP Induced Blindness

Since there is less than two weeks left before school starts, I figured it was time to start researching firms to prepare for the OCIP process. I am practically going blind from trying to compile a list of firms that I would even be interested in working at. It is amazing how much they all start to sound alike. I wish they all had a school specific tab where I could find out just how many Ps they are willing to put up with. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the OCIP process.

In all honesty, I haven't even fully committed to doing the firm thing. However, I will admit the potential money to be made has been singing its siren song to me. Working for a non-profit organization this summer was rewarding, but it didn't really pay my bills. It is very tempting to work for a firm next summer and make enough to pay almost all of my tuition. My biggest fear is that I will either be painfully bored doing firm work, or will be used to do evil in my community. Granted, as a summer associate I doubt I would be given any real substantive work, but in general I didn't go to law school to end up working for corporations who don't really need my help. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with working for a firm; it’s just not where I ultimately want to use my law degree.

School Year Resolutions

I feel like the beginning of a new school year is similar to the beginning of a new year. As such, I like to make promises to myself that I'll study more, surf the internet in class less, and actually go to the gym. In an effort to motivate myself to actually go to the gym, I am trying to cobble together good workout music. Maybe trying to put this collection will just be another excuse to delay going to the gym, but I figure it is worth a try. Any suggestions?

CLR Angst

So I am one of the many rising 2Ls waiting for a phone call from CLR to tell me my fate. I absolutely hate that every time the phone rings I jump. Since people have started to receive calls, it makes me a little nervous that those horrible days spent working on that packet were made in vain. I think I can manage remaining optimistic for the rest of the day, but I will have to resign myself to the inevitable if I don't hear by the end of the day. How long can it really take to make 50+ calls? To preserve my anonymity, I am not going to say whether I made it or not. That said, I definitely sympathize with those in my situation who are waiting for the call. Ugh.

Long Time, No See

So I have to admit, I have neglected this blog since school wrapped in May. Needless to say, it has been a busy summer. In any event, I am resurfacing after a nice chunk of time off from law school. I have been working in the real world, which has been great. I have been able to help actual clients AND improve my writing skills. Also, I feel like I could write a couple books based on the lives of some of the people I have met while working. I think the lives of some of my clients have definitely been stranger than fiction. Anyway, I will pop in and write more later, but for now I just wanted to reassure my 2 or 3 readers that I am in fact, still alive.

Free To Be

I wanted to give an exhaustive description of my 1L year and what I learned, but given that I have still not recovered from finals, I am not up to it just yet. I have spent the last few days filling my head with junk. I'm talking American Idol, Desperate Housewives, Law & Order marathons, anything tawdry and low brow. It has been great. I also want to pick up a few books to read. (suggestions are welcome) I don't actually start working until the first week of June so I am enjoying a rare respite from the chaos that has enveloped my life since I started law school. I can't even begin to explain how great it is to not have a reading assignment, WOA brief, or something equally oppressive hanging over my head. For at least a few weeks I will get to be the old La Mitotera again, which is priceless.

My Man Neil

I should be studying but I wanted to quickly mention this funny LA Times article that talks about my favorite fourth of July song "America" by Neil Diamond. Apparently it is becoming the new anthem for Latino immigrants. I just have to say I loved that song since Cheech used it as background music for their march on the border in Born in the East LA. My man Neil may be a little cheesy in his rhinestone studded apparel, but he sure can sing. "Everywhere around the world..they're coming to America...got a dream they come to share, they're coming to America...They're coming to America today!!" Ok, I got that out of my system. Back to work.

Red Bull IV Drip Anyone?

With one more take home exam due by noon tomorrow I am literally about to start holding my eyelids open with toothpicks. Summer starts tomorrow. I can't wait. I will officially have survived my first year and will be a 2L in less than 24 hours. It is about damn time.