Maybe a Lady Justice Piñata?

The rejections from OCIP have continued to roll in via mail, albeit a little slower now. I can't believe I still haven't heard a peep from a couple firms that interviewed me during the very first week of OCIP. I know its sick, but I have been keeping all of my rejection letters and am waiting for the last few to come in before I make scales of justice piñata or something with them. Each hit of the piñata could be a cathartic whack for every stupid question I had to suffer through. What is something I want you to know about me that isn’t on my resume? Well, if I wanted you to know it, I would have put it on my fu*king resume! I am boring and have no hobbies that would help me make a connection with someone who is obviously a shell of a man. Satisfied? Why a firm given my public interest background? Well, if you want to make me say it, I will. I like money. I like the way I can pay rent with money. I like the way I can buy things like food, new clothes, and chocolate with money. Is that a sufficient reason, or did you want me to offer to clean your house too before you consider giving me an offer? On second thought, I could always use the letters as kindling for the next carne asada. So many rejection letters, so many choices. I am just glad that I don’t have to wear another suit for at least six months.