Slower Traffic Keep Right

Thanksgiving was great. I tried to do some work, honestly I did, but all I really managed to do was eat obscene amounts of pumpkin pie and turkey. Although I am certainly stressed about getting ready for finals, I definitely don't feel the same panic I felt as a 1L. I love being a 2L with a job already lined up.

Anyway, on my way back from visiting my family I was forced to languish behind old people, and people who don’t understand that an open highway and clear sky practically begs a car to speed. As I passed sign after sign that says “slower traffic keep right,” I got more and more frustrated with the people who insist on doing 70mph in the left lane. At first I tried to be patient and scouted for openings in the right lane so I could weave around the dead weight, then I glared at them in the hopes they would sense my hostility and fear my road rage, and finally I resigned myself to fantasizing about ramming them, but nothing worked. I was going crazy. Who are these people, and why do they conspire to keep my odometer below 90? There is a group however, that has come up with a reasonable solution. Everyone should be given a paintball gun and when a person refuses to move over, you can shoot the offender's license plate. If a person has more than three marks on their license plate, the CHP gets to cite them. Sounds like a great idea to me.