I'm Back Bitches!

Ok, so I took a hiatus. Ok Ok. A LENGTHY hiatus. Let's just say I had some good reasons. The most important being that I created a brand new human being. Yes, I now have progeny. He is the most awesome, wonderful, cute, smart baby ever. I mean what did you expect? He is my child. So, now I get to blog about being a lawyer AND a mother. Double win, right?

The transition back to work has been challenging but I am surviving it. I am still trying to stay semi-anonymous so if you have figured out who I am given my latest announcement, keep it to yourself.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year folks!

Lambs to the Slaughter

I recently went to a law school fundraiser and found myself talking to second year law student ready to start their job at a law firm this summer. I felt like I was talking to an old version of myself. They said all the same things I did. That I had worked at demanding jobs before and knew what I was getting myself into. That I knew the hours would be long, but I could do it.

Although I was right about being able to work the long hours, I don't think I knew what it would feel like. There is a big difference between knowing intellectually that you might have a day where you bill 20 hours and feeling that. It is different when you have to call your significant other and tell them you will be missing their birthday and leaving them home alone because a project just blew up. Sitting in the same clothes you wore the day before and staring blurry eyed at the computer trying to do work feels crappier than I thought it would. That said, there are positives to the experience. I get to work on interesting cases and pay my loans. People that sign up for this life just don't know what it is really like until they know.

:'(

Although Michael Jackson had a twisted history with its share of controversy, I am so sad that he is gone. I feel silly for feeling his dead so acutely, but I can't help it. Michael Jackson wrote the soundtrack to my childhood. I will never forget holding his thriller cassette tape in my hand and playing it all summer while I swam all day long in my grandma's pool. I knew every word and choreographed quite an elaborate set of backflips and swirls to thriller. Seriously, I think he would have been proud.

I owned a red pleather jacket and a singular silver glove. One of my most prized possessions was a blown up picture of Michael that was allegedly taken by my mom's friend who was a roadie for Michael. There is something about his music that no one else has ever recreated for me. There has been no one like him and I will miss his music dearly. I only hope that he has now found the peace that seemed to elude him during his time on earth.

Tired

I don't think I had any sense of how hard I would be working once I started. I knew I would be working long hours, but I didn't understand how it would feel to spend late nights day in and day out on something I am not necessarily passionate about. I know I should be grateful to have a job, and I am. Life is just very different from being a law student. I am really happy that I get to do many different things and have even had some contact with our clients. Doing pro bono work also helps keep things interesting. I'm not unhappy, I just know I am not meant to do this type of work forever. I'm getting a little tired trying to stay at this pace.

Survivor

This month marks my sixth month at my firm. So far I survived the layoffs and am hoping I will be able to survive any further cuts. Allegedly they are done eliminating attorneys for at least another year, maybe longer. While I think that might be largely true, I suspect that our upcoming evaluations will be more critical than they would be during more prosperous times.

That said, I have stopped spending any energy on worrying about getting cut. At this point there is nothing I can do, but do my job well. So far so good. I do feel like I am a little lucky because my firm didn't want to cut first years and take that reputational hit. I am not sure how I would handle the extended deferments many of my friends are facing. It is rough out there.

Woooo Hooooooooooo

The name above appears on the pass list for the July 2008 California Bar Examination.

Knock Twice If The Answer Is Yes...

With mere hours left to go I have finally worked out my notification plan to family and friends. If I pass, I will send a text message saying so. If I didn't pass, don't expect to hear from me for awhile. Leave me alone and no one gets hurt. Although I have told people my plan, I have a feeling some people (I'm looking at you mom) will think this does not apply to them. Seriously people, don't call me, I'll call you (or not). The suspense is killing me and the random people asking me how I did is not helping. At least by this time tomorrow I will know my fate.