:'(

Although Michael Jackson had a twisted history with its share of controversy, I am so sad that he is gone. I feel silly for feeling his dead so acutely, but I can't help it. Michael Jackson wrote the soundtrack to my childhood. I will never forget holding his thriller cassette tape in my hand and playing it all summer while I swam all day long in my grandma's pool. I knew every word and choreographed quite an elaborate set of backflips and swirls to thriller. Seriously, I think he would have been proud.

I owned a red pleather jacket and a singular silver glove. One of my most prized possessions was a blown up picture of Michael that was allegedly taken by my mom's friend who was a roadie for Michael. There is something about his music that no one else has ever recreated for me. There has been no one like him and I will miss his music dearly. I only hope that he has now found the peace that seemed to elude him during his time on earth.

Tired

I don't think I had any sense of how hard I would be working once I started. I knew I would be working long hours, but I didn't understand how it would feel to spend late nights day in and day out on something I am not necessarily passionate about. I know I should be grateful to have a job, and I am. Life is just very different from being a law student. I am really happy that I get to do many different things and have even had some contact with our clients. Doing pro bono work also helps keep things interesting. I'm not unhappy, I just know I am not meant to do this type of work forever. I'm getting a little tired trying to stay at this pace.

Survivor

This month marks my sixth month at my firm. So far I survived the layoffs and am hoping I will be able to survive any further cuts. Allegedly they are done eliminating attorneys for at least another year, maybe longer. While I think that might be largely true, I suspect that our upcoming evaluations will be more critical than they would be during more prosperous times.

That said, I have stopped spending any energy on worrying about getting cut. At this point there is nothing I can do, but do my job well. So far so good. I do feel like I am a little lucky because my firm didn't want to cut first years and take that reputational hit. I am not sure how I would handle the extended deferments many of my friends are facing. It is rough out there.